"False Promises"            4-25-98
 
 
    It has often occured to me that one of the greatest enemies of 
 organized Religion today are those "leaders" who will stand before 
 a congregation and make THE false promise: If you will just put your 
 whole life into God's hands, all will be well, all will be perfect
 (you'll have no problems).
 
    I know in my heart of hearts, that that promise is not only non-
 Biblical, but extremely dangerous. If a person accepts this promise,
 and does their best to put God at the head of their life, and yet
 their life remains hard, it is both possible and understandable that 
 they will begin to lose Faith to become "disappointed" in God.
 
    I also know I would not want to stand before The Maker on the 
 last day with that promise still on my lips, and the eternal lives 
 of those who listened to me, on my Books.
 
    We need only to look upon the "cup" from which Jesus had to drink,
 and the fate's of his most faithful followers, to realize that our 
 promised Paradise is not to be here on Earth. The greatness of 
 Christianity is built on worldly suffering, and eternal perfection.
 
    In the end, no matter how strong our faith, or how fervent our
 prayers, it is God's will not ours that will be done. In our earthly 
 lives we may never understand why we have to struggle, but the day 
 will come when "we shall see as face to face".
 
    So rather than make that false promise, we should help each other 
 with our "yokes", and still Pray hard, but be aware of the simple
 fact that sometimes...the answer is NO.
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                           "Masters of Nothing"          4-30-98
 
    In all truth, we are masters of nothing. Our hands are empty all of 
 our lives, and we leave as we came, naked, frightened, and 
 going from our comfortable known "world" into an unknown
 place which terrifies us.
    
    I have friends who deny the exsistance of any god, or "heaven",
  I have never had nerve enough to ask them how they can 
 stand living this life if this is as good as it can ever be. I know 
 my life has it's ups and downs, and the downs have sometimes caused 
 me to question the use of going on with this life. But at
 my lowest points, there has always come some help, a still 
 small voice, the voice of God. Most often spoken through the lips
 of someone I love, someone here on Earth.
 
    I could never flatter myself to think I have earned any eternal 
 rewards, for I all too easily fall away, I wander off and am lost.
  Not to be found again 'til I am broken again. So very often I am
  the lamb, who causes the Shepherd to leave the ninety and nine, 
 to search for this one. And Jesus finds me, with his Loving 
 kindness, and his healing strength.
 
    Again, in all truth we are masters of nothing, we borrow our lives
 from God, and what we choose to do with them must be very 
 painful for him to watch.
 
    So when the time comes that I must stand before the Lord's 
 throne, I will only be able to say, "I have been the master of 
 nothing, especially not of myself, And I know that I have earned 
 no place here with you, nor was it a thing I could have earned. 
 For your own Son payed my debts, and only through him can 
 I hope to be given the gift of your forgiveness, and the present 
 of living forever in your presence. For I have earned only that 
 which I was master of,... nothing !
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                    "Faithful Confusion"                  4-30-98
 
    I have heard, tasted, touched, smelled, and imagined so many
 things in this life; painful and joyous, sordid and holy. My 
 curiosity has proven to be both a Blessing, and a snare to me,
 it has caused me much confusion in my life.
    I want new experiences, even those which prove unwise, or
 even dangerous to me as a whole person. I questioned and scratched
 away at things which, I later discover, are best accepted at
 "faith"-value. Faith, I have discovered is a thing more easily
 disscussed than lived.
    Can all things be rationalized or explained? NO, I am realizing
 they cannot! "for now we see as in a glass darkly, then shall we
 see as face to face...". One day God, The Father, will reveal to
 us the totality of his vision, to us, his children. For now, it
 is only for us to accept that it is his will being done, inspite
 of how hard it maybe to imagine there can be a reason for so
 many tragedies and losses.
    But still God has given us these questioning, exploring,
 egotistical minds, so that we can grow and achieve great
 things, because these things are needed for His will to be done.
 And so that we can have the choice to come to him, through Jesus,
 or not, for Love and Faith can only be given by free-will.
    So in the face of knowledge and science, always remember that
 the "Laws of Nature", and all the other laws and constants, are
 constant only because God wills it so. And continue to have Faith
 in the One great Constant, the Holy Trinity.
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           "The Cussing Curse"                            7-10-98
 
    When the day comes when one accepts Jesus Christ as their
 personal Saviour, exactly what happens?? Is it a sudden and a
 dramatic change, or is it a new birth, with all the growing pains
 that one would expect from maturing?
    I have seen both occur in people, I have seen people spring up
 with what seems to be a rich, fully developed spiritual life: I
 am also acquainted with those who struggle and fight, day after
 day to achieve a fully Christian lifestyle.
    I count myself among the latter, and this is a little story
 about one of my toughest opponents in that fight.
    I count myself lucky to have been raised in a very "good" home,
 I was cared about and for. I attended Sunday School and recieved
 awards for learning the lessons and the memory verses, But there
 lurked in the background something that I never even thought about
 as a child, or into my young adulthood. Simply put, my parents (as
 I also am), were the result of countless generations of middle-
 class working lifetimes, and they would both "cuss".
    Now that dosen't sound too terrible, but now I find that cussing
 is an awfully hard habit to break. The place where I work is also
 filled with this "conversational" cursing which only serves to be
 a crutch for my bad-habit. 
    By the way, we are not talking heck or darn, we are discussing
 the big-boys, including the "F"-word. Shameful as that is.
    Now what you should also be aware of is that 90% of this
 cussing is not done in anger, it is done without any real bad
 intent, it is done in a matter-of-fact way, purely a "normal"
 part of conversation.
   Now don't think I am trying to excuse my behaviour, I am not.
 However I often wonder if there aren't degrees of wrongness to
 this swearing, I am quite sure that swearing in anger, in a
 purposely hurtful way, is more sinnful that cussing without the bad
 intent. I realize that I should do neither, but I work hardest at
 not swearing in anger, I think that by beating that, I will be more
 than halfway to beating my whole swearing problem.
    I have gone for fairly long periods of time being able to control
 my foul mouth. But as soon as my guard comes down a little, out 
 comes some word I did not want to utter, and I am ashamed of myself.
 I have even apologized for such things, only to be asked what I said
 that was wrong. As I said, it is, in many places, quite acceptable in
 even "polite" conversation.
    This cussing is a continuing problem for me, but it never makes
 me doubt my faith, I KNOW that the Trinity is active in my daily life.
 And I know that I struggle for "His" reason, perhaps so that I can
 better accept weakness in others. But even to have to struggle in 
 Jesus' name is a wonderful Blessing, and one I can learn from.
    I lay this out before the world, just to remind everyone, including
 myself, that the flesh is indeed weak, and that all have sinned and
 fallen short. Also to recall that the "price" of our Salvation was
 paid long ago, by Jesus on that wonderous Cross.
    Thank-you God for giving me the "Gift" of your Son, and through him
 the awesome gift of your Grace and forgiveness!!!
 
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